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Writer's picturejohn stuhl

No, they are not!

I was listening to a podcast yesterday, all about the 2015 movie Inside Out (does one italicize a movie title?). Great movie. In fact, a really, really great movie. So well done, very clever and a good story message.


The movie was great, the podcast drove me crazy. Crazier. While I appreciated the perspectives of the two guests, both psychologists, they kept making a statement that I simply disagree with. They kept referring to the emotions of anger, hurt, sadness, guilt, shame, embarrassment and anxiety as negative emotions.


And, so, the above title.


It's not like I'm novice in this subject. Or unschooled. After all, I have been a practicing psychologist for almost 24 years. So why do I tug at my hairs (both of them) when I hear people talk about negative feelings or emotions?


Because no emotion is negative. We are survivalist creatures. Our emotions evolved to enable us to survive. They aren't negative, as if they detract from life or add nothing to life. Quite the opposite. We need these emotions; we need these feelings. They help us.


Well, if they're not negative, what are they, smart a**, I hear you ask. What these emotions are is 'painful'. They are 'uncomfortable', they cause us 'distress'. And yes, we need emotions that distress, disturb, disrupt us, because life, even simple life, is complicated; it has contradictions and paradoxes, choices that confound and that no matter what choice we make are costly, for which we pay a price.


I'm not campaigning for people to have more stress, pain, sorrow, hurt or heartache in their lives. Such experiences are going to be in our lives already. What I do campaign for is that we accept our emotions that are painful and cause us distress, because they help us. They inform us about ourselves; we learn what is important to us that we may not have recognized before; we discover depths to ourselves we were unaware of; we learn where the fallacies of our beliefs lie, and how to adjust them to more healthy living.


What does any of this have to do with writing? With telling stories? I'm not sure for anyone else, but for me, if I can remember this, I add more depth and quality to my characters--at least, that's what I hope for! No-one lives without these feelings (though some may claim they do--yes, that's called denial, or repression, or suppression. Or possibly ignorant bliss). Since they are always with us, in us, then our stories resonate much more with readers if we keep these emotions in our characters.


For me, it also means that every emotion can be 'good', and is 'helpful', even if they don't feel 'good'. Hurt tells us where we need healing; anxiety tells us where we sense danger or threat; guilt tells us where we believe we've broken some rule or norm; shame tells us where we've violated ourselves, our own values.


I could go on, but if you've read this far, I'm concerned the length of my musings is causing you pain. Or fatigue. Possibly boredom and disgust. I understand.


Just know: those aren't negative emotions. They're just emotions that tell you, you've had enough of me, heard enough from me.


Now that's something I'm familiar with! Hope you have a wonderful day, and that the summer soon ends. Which I believe will be my next blogic. Uh, blog topic. Duh.

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