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Writer's picturejohn stuhl

Cinder Block!

The past few weeks, I've experienced what I think we all experience...writer's block. Grrr! Argh! The phrase itself is onerous. Noxious. A foul blight on existence, an evil invasion into the realm of my mind.


As I confronted this most recent incursion, I realized that the more I attempted to overcome it, the more agitated and annoyed I became. I got irritable and grumpy, a pouty five year old who refused to eat his peas even though he can see chocolate cake on the kitchen counter.


As my frustration mounted, I finally did something different than my usual response, which is to write something, anything, read it, delete it, grumble, get up and get fluids (the time of day determines the nature of the liquid nurture), repeat the process with the addition of some screaming and prayer language until I am exhausted and give up. In short, I had never really figured out how to over come writer's block; that's why the block became concrete, then a wall, then an inescapable dungeon. I surrendered to despair, and when I looked up, at some point someone has released me. A miracle! I'm just glad there are still wardens with compassion.


This time, as I grew aware of my increasing frustration, I thought about what I teach patients. Frustration is caused by a goal we have, that we're blocked in getting to. The first step in frustration resolution is to ask one's self--is this goal something that's within my control? Any time, every time, the goal includes someone else...."I want her to understand.....I want them to see what I mean....I wish they would all jump directly up their own a**es...", then the goal is not in my control. And if it's not in my control, then I can't achieve it. Frustration remains, and grows the more I pursue the out-of-my-reach goal.


So, second step in frustration resolution is to restructure my goal, so that it is in my control..."I want to be clear in my explanation....I want to teach effectively....I want to state directly what they might do with their own jumping, and where..." Now I can relieve my frustration, because I really can achieve my goal. And, I remain focused on what I can control. Is my explanation clear? Well, I'm the only one who can decide that. Someone else may not understand it, but that doesn't mean I've been unclear. I can try several explanations, and if none get through it may simply mean that while I've been as clear as possible, the other person is obtuse. Or, though they are doing the best they can, still aren't able to grasp the concept I'm sharing. Example? All the finest instructors who have ever lived could gather together and jointly, with all their skills, teach me the mathematics behind quantum mechanics, and I'll never grasp it. Ever. That math is beyond me, just as is long division and cats.


How does this help writer's block? What I discovered, this last relapse, was that by assessing and rearranging my goals, I can move past writer's block. Because almost always, my block is due to my unconscious focus on something way beyond my control. I drag my goals out of the glum and goo of my unknowing mind, into the light of day, and find them to be unreachable. "I want to write a perfect story.....I want to write a great novel.....I want to live off the income of my writing.... " A very simple living it would be.


So, I set those aside. And I rearrange my goals. My goal may become "I want to re-read the first chapter of my novel." Or, "I want to doodle and jottle (the art and activity of jotting) about Josh, the protagonist. Or possibly even, "I want to take twenty minutes and read in the dictionary." Really! Discovering new words, or seeing anew familiar words, is very comforting, and sparks my creativity.


While this has worked (and I remember having done this in the past, but only now when I practiced it again!), I've been aware there is still a disturbance within. My fingers dance on the keyboard, my mind hums happily in C drive (uh, 'creative' drive), but there lurks a hunger and a yearning, just below the surface. What is it? Another goal, unsatisfied: I want to work on my novel. So, after I'm done here, I'll have to figure out a way to work on my novel! That need, that goal must be directly addressed. Diversion, even creative diversion, doesn't dismiss my novel needs. So there will be more small, immediately attainable goals to be established. My present solution has at least removed the impenetrable block of writing; now it's merely a cinder block, and there are two unimpaired chambers through which I can look.


As for this episode of brain block? I set a reasonable goal. I want to write a blog post.


Frustration dissolved. Creativity reawakened.



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